Life, stripped naked

I have green goo smothered all over my face and I smell like wet dog.

I just bought a tube of Himalaya Herbals – Almond & Cucumber Peel-off Mask. It smells like that Buncho water colour paint we used to use in primary school.

And this Garnier hair dye I bought is making it seem as though I washed my hair with dog flea shampoo.

*****

The year is ending. And there are a few issues that have been annoying me, like a chunk of corn stuck in the back of my teeth. I can’t bear to carry them over to the potentially wonderful new year!

I have 2 days to identify the root of the problem and attempt to solve them.

And there’s also the new years resolution to think of!

Why do I always do things last minute?! I should have thought of this earlier!!

So the omeprazole & ranitidine isn’t working as well as I had hoped. What the hell is wrong with me?!

I eat! And regularly too! (Okay, maybe a little too frequent). I thought gastritis was almost exclusive to those with crazy diets.

Instead of hurting from not eating, it hurts because I eat!

What does it want from me?! – To eat or not to eat??

It’s so incredibly annoying because so long as it hurts, I can’t walk and lying down makes it worse.

So basically it’s discouraging me from eating (lose weight?), shopping (save money?) and sleeping which can only turn me into a skinny, grumpy girl with shit loads of money.

*GASP!*

**faint**

*****

I’ve just finished reading a chick-lit – The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella.

Managed to pick up a new book from Popular yesterday @ half price – Travels in the Malaysian Rainforest by Tan Teong Jin.

In the very first paragraph he says,

The luxuriance and the vastness of the trees inspire awe.

There is also the deep silence that permeates the jungle at certain times of day, filling you with a kind of peace and making you contemplative and thoughtful.

Oh, I can relate so well. The 12 days of trekking in Sabah started out as among the scariest things I’ve done, but developed into something extraordinary.

I left behind the hustle bustle of city life as well as the complicated relationships that I’ve developed with people throughout the years and submerged myself in a minimalistic and extremely basic way of life.

For hours at a time we would walk through the dense jungle while singing, laughing and listening to the life stories of others.

And when we ran out of stories, the silence allowed reflection and appreciation for everything surrounding me.

It’s like a mind detox.

I was thinking so clearly and things were so uncomplicated.

Petty little issues didn’t bother me and suddenly that big picture was so clear.

*****

Out of the jungle and back into the city. Back to ‘real’ life.

I’ve been on a course of antibiotics, steroids, antihistamines and I’m now on 3 other meds and popping antacids like sweets.

Worrying about my job application. Worrying about relationships. Worrying about how I look.

Because in ‘real’ life you need money, the past comes back to haunt you and people judge.

It’s 5 in the morning and I just walked out of a 24 hour clinic (which I will never go back to again).

Siva is a young indian man with dried drool in the corner of his mouth. His eyes were half open when I first met him.

The next 15 minutes he was mumbling and I had to get him to repeat nearly every sentence he spoke.

You’ve just met my doctor!

After telling Siva a detailed account of my problem, he stared at me.

Maybe he was thinking.

He then prodded me a little and mumbled some more.

After, “Huh?” “Could you say that again?” “What was the last word?”

Then I got the message – Do you want an injection or would you prefer a tablet?

INJECTION please thankyew.

So he jabbed me in the butt with Buscopan + Zantac. I swear that needle must have been in there for at least 10 seconds. Was a little afraid Siva had fallen asleep.

So basically I went home with (this section is for my Pharmacist friends)….

1. Omeprazole 20mg od
2. Ranitidine 150mg bd
3. Syp MNT (after checking BNF I’m guessing it’s Magnesium Trisilicate, am I right?) 15ml tds

As you can guess..

Diagnosis? Gastritis

It’s been at least half an hour and that jab in the butt has not taken effect. If anything, it’s hurting even more.

I want to sleep damnit!!

My idea of a quiet night in when everyone else is too busy to choi me

1. Air conditioned room with green tea essential oil in my aromatherapy burner.
2. A long warm shower followed by a face masque and full body moisturisation.
3. Boxies and an old pair of PJ’s.
4. Cuppa hot chamomile tea in my fav gigantic pink mug.
5. Internet with MSN status offline.
6. A good baking book with loads of colourful pictures. Food makes me happy.

All this is necessary because apparently I’m an eyesore to a certain someone. Sucks when there is a divide between friends. Sucks even more to think that I’m going to end this amazing year knowing that someone has a problem with me.

This is not an emo post.

And I am not sulking.

Who am I kidding.

Btw Merry Christmas.

Tans will fade

Scars will heal

Weight can be lost

Hair can be cut, dyed and styled

So why are people so fixed on physical appearance?

It’s appalling how some people have eyed me from head to toe and frowned at my scars, bites and bruises. Throwing negative comments on my hair colour and style. All these while being well aware that I’ve been volunteering in Borneo for the past 10 weeks and not indulging in a R&R health and beauty spa in Bali.

So much that I’ve learnt, seen and experienced. So much work that we’ve done to make a difference in the lives of others. And all people are interested about are my skin imperfections.

OH MY it has been 10 weeks.

10 weeks filled with joy, tears, pain, laughter, frustration, satisfaction…

But most importantly it has been 10 fruitful weeks that has ended with an amazing sense of accomplishment.

It seems surreal. Just a week ago at this exact time I was cold and probably definitely smelling funky, lying asleep in my hammock, deep in the Borneo jungle. Tonight I will have a soft bed 3 pillows, fresh sheets and a soft quilt to keep me warm in my sweet smelling, air conditioned room.

What a journey it has been – a journey of self discovery, intense learning, physical and mental challenges… a journey that has rewarded me with a network of awesome new friends from all over the globe.

A journey that has also left me scratched, bitten, stung, bruised, cut and infected.

I’m sore.

No worries, nothing a doctor can’t repair.