The incompetence of others kept me busy today. And for once it was a good thing. It kept my mind too occupied to wonder off into dangerous territory.
For the heart, it was a much calmer day. The tides have gone down and I can breathe a little better.
***
It’s another Friday night in Seremban.
And it was spent healing the soul… the girls way..
Clothes. Jewellery. Lingerie. Food.
I was so committed to save for my Palm Pre that I resisted a good offer for a facial package at Aster Spring.. saving me 876rm.
But I couldn’t resist getting myself a white gold ring at 321K.. putting me back by 149rm.
My first piece of real jewellery. Bought with my own hard earned money.
I’m all grown up now.
THE SAVING STARTS TODAY!!
I am SO getting this phone and NOTHING will stop me!!
Palm Pre you are so beautiful. You’re the phone I’ve been waiting for.
You have no idea how excited I am.
I guess I’ve figured it out.
I’ve been cracking my skull trying to combine logic, practicality and reality with complicated human emotions.
But the answer came to me when I wasn’t actively searching for one. Funny.
I’ve taken so many things into consideration. But this is how I’ll simply put it…
I don’t know many things for sure.
But one thing I’m certain of is that it makes me incredibly happy. I feel warm and fuzzy inside and out. I go to bed feeling complete, whole and content.
Is it wise to sacrifice all that for something I don’t know for sure?
No. At least not for now.
Yes. There are underlying unresolved issues that I’ll just have to face head on when it decides to come.
Things are just as hard. But at least my mind isn’t such a wreck now.
I’ve made a decision not based purely on the heart and I’m counting on it being a wise one.
And so the days continue and it remains, keeping my heart whole.
It was the first day in over 5 months in which I experienced slight relief upon arriving in the hospital for work.
Because when I did, my problems seemed less important, naturally because of all the people with broken bones, infection in weird places and sorts.
So working serves as a good distraction.
Only a simple distraction.
And so the hurt and disappointment still intermittently presents itself at every minute that my mind gets a little rest.
It’s baffling how somethings could be so darn important.
To lose it is almost like losing myself.
And to keep it close and dear to me, I chose to put it way up my priority list.
More than willing to do so because having it is having happiness.
And when there is so much happiness, there is nothing I won’t do; almost nothing I wouldn’t give and sacrificing becomes easy.
Sacrificing is one thing, but being a fool is another.
How much to sacrifice before I turn into a bloody fool?
There’s fine line between that one and I’ve yet to figure it out.
I had popcorn and Coke for dinner today while watching ‘Up’ with Yannee & frens. LoL. The woman laughed like a hyena and I swore I saw her slapping her thighs in amusement. Half of the time I was laughing because she was! That’s how funny our Yannee is. Our own in-house entertainment.
I really enjoyed the movie. It was cute, funny, sweet, sad, touching and meaningful altogether. It beats Monsters vs. Aliens hands down.
This is probably as good as it gets for a Friday night in Seremban.
I want the boyfriend + Paramount nasi lemak.
You know why I like Raya month?
Because it’s the month of roadside lemang, rendang and YusufTayob dates galore!!!!
Heck they even hung up a carcasse of a cow by the side of the road! Something you don’t get to see in PJ!
I’m just waiting for a certain aunty to invite us over for buka puasa makan cause ohmygod her roti jala is to die for! (Amir, I’m only writing this because you don’t read my blog – No wonder you sudah gemok!!)
<News Flash>
OHMYGOD.
YanNee just called. I’m already fucking working THIS Sat and Sun.
NEXT Sat already got to do ward round.
Bloody mouliu fuckers make us work at Klinik Kesihatan also. And so I have additional shift NEXT SUNDAY.
WHATTHEHELL.
2 weeks in a row weiiiii… 
And this new ‘weekend shift in KK’ only applies to PRPs.
I am a very very very unhappy bunny.
I really hope whoever suggested this mysteriously develops severe haemorrhoids.
Before you say anything. I shamefully admit to how hopelessly outdated I am.
I just watched Sex and the City – The Movie!!
Lol yes I realize it’s probably more than a year old already.
Shame shame.
Back the the point… I am so! sO! SO!! disappointed with Mr. Big!!!
Remember this heartbreaking scene??
IT BROKE MY HEART!! OMGGGG!!!!
I cried at least 3 times watching that scene over and over again!!!
He is such a serious fuckup!! “I curse the day you were born!!!” *obscene hand gesture*
It disturbed my inner peace for a whole night!
For a Big man he has such pewny little balls!!
GRRR!!
I still a bit bit tak puas that she gave in to him. Tak puas because he didn’t get physically hurt as payback!!
The director should write in this line where he gets run down by a lorry while attempting to do something sweet for her.
THEN it would have been a truly satisfying ending.
And she didn’t get a bigass diamond ring after ALL that PAIN!! RIDICULOUS!!
WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!!
The good and talented are leaving us. The horrible people remain horrible and seem to be doing just great.
Is this some kind of sick compilation of everyone’s bad karma?
Some kind of ‘Guiness Book of World Records – Biggest Karma Payback’?
People are just being jerks left, right and center; upside down and inside out!
Good looking, smart, talented and successful atheletes are dying doing what they love!
Innocent little kiddos are dying from H1N1!
Why so many dyingggggggg?!?!?!?!!! I can’t stand this!!
Seriously, could this be anymore depressing??
I acknowledge that I am blessed for not being directly affected by what’s happening.
Am I going to take it forgranted?? – NEVER!!
I do hope no body else will.
Could it be that it is just a phase? Did the world suddenly become so densely populated that they had to get rid of some of us to achieve some kind of universal balance??
Too many questions that will be left unanswered.
Guess we’ll all just have to put on some heavy armour and wait it out.
I’ve found such a happy place in life.
Happy that my family is healthy and well.
Happy of the love that I’ve found.
Happy that my job gives me an identity I’m proud of and the ability to save for a future.
But it’s much less awesome when the people around me aren’t finding life so lovely.
It really sucks balls.
Why life has to be like that leh?
Why must life be so unfortunate sometimes? When everything seems ay-okay, something absolutely horrible just comes by and rips it into a million little pieces.
Very recently I’ve got to know of something painfully sad and it made me pull out the string of “why’s” on life.
If only there was something we could do to ease your pain.
I do hope his family finds some peace soon, despite all that has happened.
**
