Money money money

The week is so much easier to go through when I know I have this Friday afternoon ANDD whole of next Monday OFF!!!!

Puan R agreed to let me use my 14 accumulated hours over Raya holidays!

It’s such an awesome feeling y’know! I don’t even feel bad for not working cause I earned it! Wohohohohoo!

I’m gonna book me an Aster Spring facial session for Monday. Then have some ‘me’ time shopping in Pyramid.

It’s my last session from the ~rm800 package I signed up for.. Meaning have burn another hole to buy a new package dii…

I think I’ve spent close to 2K on Dermalogica treatments and facial products since starting work 6 months ago =P =P

So that’s over 600rm with of Dermalogica products =P

I LOVE their products! And I absolutely swear by their Daily Microfoliant.

Haiyah.. Spend so much but some people still say I got face problem =.=”

And that hair brush.. looks like it’s used for brushing horses… I just bought it for 30rm. It has ‘natural bristles’ and built in ‘antibacterial protection’!! Omg I’m such a sucker. Ok seriously I just needed a brush cause I left mine in PJ and I can’t go to work looking like a homeless dog. And all the plastic-ey ones didn’t apeal to me so there.

And behold the pink bottle behind the brush that leaked water onto my handphone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I spent 23 bucks on that Rubbermaid bottle that I thought was awesome!) And now I’m frantically trying to hairdry my poor freaking phone cause I don’t think I can live without one for another hour. I think my hairdryer is going to choke and die on me pretty soon now.

Hopefully this hardy Nokia phone will surive till Palm Pre comes out!! I’m loving it more and more by the day I tell you it’ll outshine iPhone 3GS anyday!!!!!

Come to mama babehhh.. I’d pay a whole lot for youu….

 

A skeptic who wants to believe

You know life can be so funny sometimes (okay honestly.. not so funny).

Life’s experiences teaches me and reminds me time and time again that when something good happens, it’s not actually good. Something will creep up and ruin it. It’s like.. life is telling me that everything great is short-lived.

Personal experiences have proven it to me and when I’m supposed to be all-out-happy, I tell myself it’s “too good to be true” and this automatic barrier comes up and blocks part of me that wants to jump up with joy.

Not too long ago I was in ‘cloud nine’. Happy. Contented. I could not ask for more. True enough, it came crashing down right before my eyes.

Now I’ve got exactly what I’ve been hoping and waiting for. It’s what I’ve dreamed of hearing. I’ve heard those words that I need to wipe away the worry and pain that has been plaguing me for 7 long months. It was the promise I thought I would never hear.

But I can’t bring myself to enjoy it.

I can’t seem to savour this moment because at the back of my head I’m going, “this is too good to be true. Where is the catch? I must be missing something.”

WHAT IS IT? What is the illusion that makes this magic?

I’m skeptical that this is the end of my worries.

It’s all confusing again when it should be crystal clear.

 

A dish for everyone

The boyfriend selamba-ly tore out a page from my Female magazine during Sunday brunch…

Right in front of my eyes.. with no shame….

Then Yannee stole the torn-out-page from me at dinner today…

Right in front of my eyes.. with no shame….

At least she’s putting him to good use… Plastered on her room door to ‘improve the flow of lengchai chi’ into her room.

LOL if only I could upload the picture I took of PF, Yannee & J nearly drooling over his picture at dinner.

Silly silly girls.

(Happy la you now. Manage to get rid of him)

 

Doing the crazy talk

Hello.

I’m using Bio-Oil.

I hope it works.

So skeptical. But more desperate. So had to try.

From the outside I say “Bahh who cares bout the scars” but deep inside it kinda matters.

And yea I’m actually talking bout something else.

I’m feeling much better now.

But I’m not sure whether I’ve really learned to accept or that I’ve just ignored and forgotten.

Maybe a bit of both?

I think I’m okay with it now.. Well.. until it comes up again and I go bezerk and mad.

I hope Bio-Oil gives me pretty legs.

Maybe that will help a tad bit.

 

The big load I’m too lazy to reduce

I have an impossible load of work to finish by the end of the week.

So much that I’m already giving up because unless I’m inhuman (which I’m pretty sure I’m not), it’s a guarantee that I would not be able to complete it.

I really wanna watch Top Gear now. But I’ll feel bad.

So I’ll go to sleep then I’ve got the excuse that I’m ‘resting’ so I won’t feel so bad.

 

I wanna go home

I don’t wanna do all of this work already.

I don’t want to be in Seremban.

I just want to go home.

I don’t want to be away. I don’t care how ‘near’ it is because it’s not near enough.

I don’t want to be away from mummy and daddy who are the only two people who love me unconditionally.

I want to lay in bed.

I want you to tell me it’s going to be okay.

 

The day my breathing eased.

The incompetence of others kept me busy today. And for once it was a good thing. It kept my mind too occupied to wonder off into dangerous territory.

For the heart, it was a much calmer day. The tides have gone down and I can breathe a little better.

***

It’s another Friday night in Seremban.

And it was spent healing the soul… the girls way..

Clothes. Jewellery. Lingerie. Food.

I was so committed to save for my Palm Pre that I resisted a good offer for a facial package at Aster Spring.. saving me 876rm.

But I couldn’t resist getting myself a white gold ring at 321K.. putting me back by 149rm.

My first piece of real jewellery. Bought with my own hard earned money.

I’m all grown up now.

 

Soon in my Palms

THE SAVING STARTS TODAY!!

I am SO getting this phone and NOTHING will stop me!!

Palm Pre you are so beautiful. You’re the phone I’ve been waiting for.

You have no idea how excited I am.

 

I was looking too hard. Anyway, it finally came.

I guess I’ve figured it out.

I’ve been cracking my skull trying to combine logic, practicality and reality with complicated human emotions.

But the answer came to me when I wasn’t actively searching for one. Funny.

I’ve taken so many things into consideration. But this is how I’ll simply put it…

I don’t know many things for sure.

But one thing I’m certain of is that it makes me incredibly happy. I feel warm and fuzzy inside and out. I go to bed feeling complete, whole and content.

Is it wise to sacrifice all that for something I don’t know for sure?

No. At least not for now.

Yes. There are underlying unresolved issues that I’ll just have to face head on when it decides to come.

Things are just as hard. But at least my mind isn’t such a wreck now.

I’ve made a decision not based purely on the heart and I’m counting on it being a wise one.

And so the days continue and it remains, keeping my heart whole.

 

The one day where working was a good thing

It was the first day in over 5 months in which I experienced slight relief upon arriving in the hospital for work.

Because when I did, my problems seemed less important, naturally because of all the people with broken bones, infection in weird places and sorts.

So working serves as a good distraction.

Only a simple distraction.

And so the hurt and disappointment still intermittently presents itself at every minute that my mind gets a little rest.

It’s baffling how somethings could be so darn important.

To lose it is almost like losing myself.

And to keep it close and dear to me, I chose to put it way up my priority list.

More than willing to do so because having it is having happiness.

And when there is so much happiness, there is nothing I won’t do; almost nothing I wouldn’t give and sacrificing becomes easy.

Sacrificing is one thing, but being a fool is another.

How much to sacrifice before I turn into a bloody fool?

There’s fine line between that one and I’ve yet to figure it out.